Urban Space Squirrels (and why it is not worth the dollar you were thinking of shelling out for it)

At first glance, this seems like a very well put together game. The controls are pretty simple to use (once you figure out what you’re doing, anyway,) and the graphics are kitchy and sleek. The music is slightly repetitive, but to be perfectly honest it’s quite decent and not at all grating, which is a thing that (sadly) ruins a lot of puzzle/platformer games for me. Also it’s a cute concept. I mean, you’re a squirrel jumping around and blowing things up in order to get from point a to point b. Thats freakin’ adorable. Unfortunately the execution of the actual game play leaves quite a bit to be desired.

The main game mechanic in general is one of the most frustrating things about it. You absolutely have to put down a bomb in order to make the vast majority of your jumps. The puzzles range between mind-numbingly easy to absurdly difficult, with little or no scaling in between. With your primary controls being located on the trigger buttons and left analog stick, it’s extremely simple to screw everything up with minimal effort.

When I went to close the game and go back to the dashboard, a message popped up about how leaving the game would make a small baby squirrel cry. Come on, game. I played you. I stuck around for a good 20 minutes before I got fed up, even. I gave you a freaking chance, and now you’re trying to guilt me into playing more by saying I will make a baby squirrel cry.

No game, I will not buy into your guilt trip. In fact, I defy you. I actually paid for and downloaded another game about farting because I didn’t want to play you past the three levels I sat through. And then there’s another thing, you can’t be both urban and from space. Are you spatially urban? Are you urbanly spaced? I am seriously fucked if I know. In fact I’m not even sure ‘urbanly’ is a word. But that’s not the point game. The point is, I trusted you, and you let me down.

I am basically really jealous that Matt got another game to review and I ended up with a game about a blue squirrel in space. Which initially sounds really rad, but then it isn’t. As such, I will give ‘Urban Space Squirrels’ two out of five stars. As I said, the graphics and music were quite impressive, expecially for an indie effort, but the game play just doesn’t stand up.