A Useful Recipe

Guys. I have invented what is likely the best possible drink ever.

Chilled Water
ingredients:
* 10 to 12 regular sized ice cubes
* tapwater
* a large pitcher
* a refrigerator
* a glass
* a colourful bendy straw (optional, but recommended.)

Instructions:

- Acquire an ice cube tray (Some people like to use the new silicon ones, but I am quite partial to ones which are made in the old fashioned way with hard plastic. {One important thing to note here is that you should not, under any circumstances, use ice from one of those fancy refrigerators with an ice cube maker. Those things are gross and for some reason always taste like charcoal and failure. Don't ask me why, I didn't make the fucking things}.) Make ice the way nature intended. In your damn freezer.

- Fill the tray with water from your tap. (If your tapwater tastes gross, I suggest using bottled water.)

- Place tray with water in your freezer.

- Wait 4 to 5 hours.

- Remove tray from freezer. At this point you will notice that your water has become a solid. If you are still looking at a sloshy tray, you are probably doing it wrong, and need to start over completely. In fact, that wasn't even you freezer, was it? Yeah, that looks like a cupboard. Those are warm. You want cold. Try again with the freezer next time.

- Get a largeish pitcher. Glass or plastic will do fine. I personally prefer glass, but this is entirely up to you, and what you have available to you. If you do not have a pitcher, I suggest you purchase one from your local housewares store, or online.

- Place your ice cubes in the pitcher.

- Fill the pitcher (with ice cubes) 5/6ths of the way with water from your tap (or bottled water, as stated above.)

- Place the ice/water mixture in your freezer. At this point I feel like I should mention that you should not remove the ice/water mixture from your pitcher. That would just be stupid and messy. (But then you're a smart kid, and you've probably worked this out on your own.)

- Close your fridge door.

- Wait 30-45 minutes.

- Remove the pitcher from your refrigerator and pour a glass of the liquid into the glass you have (hopefully) had waiting for this very purpose. What? You didn't? You haven't been following my instructions at all, have you. Go get a glass, damnit.

- Add colourful bendy straw.

- Enjoy your beverage.