Oh Fable 3, why are you so very fail.

I haven't really enjoyed Fable 3 much at all. The only enemies in it (aside from the nonsensical and frankly disappointing boss) are hobbes, balverines, and hollow men. There are no trolls, for example- nor are there any other enemies that would prove a genuine challenge. Once you've got your magical spells (or really any other skill for that matter) maxed out, the illusion of any sort of real challenge disappears.
The vast majority of quests consist of one of the following:

- physically drag a non-player character to another location
- find any number of small, difficult to find items (for example, books)
- fetch an item from a remote area
- eliminate a mob of enemies

None of the quests prove particularly difficult, especially not once you realise you've been performing the same tasks, or a jumbled combination of them. Most of them left me feeling underwhelmed, moreso once I realised I had been repeating the same tasks multiple times. More importantly, none of the individual storylines stood out on their own, which I found particularly disapointing. I've always enjoyed the Fable series for its humour and unique dialogue, however I never overheard any particularly amusing being said amongst the non-player characters, and none of the sidequests were very humerous or emotionally engaging.

Another important feature which seemed completely overlooked had to do with the issue of good versus evil character alignment. In Fable and Fable 2, the player is asked to make a series of often difficult decisions which effect the main storyline, the cosmetic look of your character, and general interaction with non-player characters. In Fable 3, this simply fell flat. What sets Fable 3 apart from the previous games is the lack of any sort of middle ground. Allignment decisions are not at all difficult to decipher as there is little or no moral gray area. In fact, you are quite blatantly informed of which decisions are good and evil in realtime, as you make them.

Furthermore, once you have access to the royal treasury, depositing a few hundred thousand dollars from your personal coffers magically erases any evil decisions you might have made in a matter of seconds. In short, the illusion of any sort of moral quandary in the game is very neatly shattered early on. I'm not quite certain what Lionhead was trying to achieve by adding this ability. Was it supposed to serve as some sort of tongue-in-cheek social commentary? If so, it really wasn't all that surprising, nor was it particularly clever.

The main storyline was very disappointing as well, especially when compared to the one offered up in Fable 2. The 'Road to Rule' feature was quite heavily tied into the storyline as well, which I found not only problematic, but sadly predictable. It was relatively easy to see how many steps one would have to take to reach the end of the game, and caused my to think of the game much more laterally. Because of this, the game took very little time to complete. I've spent roughly seventeen hours Fable 3 so far, including all of the current downloadable content. I played Fable 2 for approximately fourty-five hours before I even got close to completing the main storyline.

On the subject of downloadable content, I've managed to stumble upon a personally amusing glitch. After downloading the 'Traitor's Keep' pack, my character has inexplicably changed genders, transitioning from female to male. Everything else is mostly the same; I still have the same amount of quests completed, the prospective balances of my vault and the royal treasury are unchanged, and I still appear to have all of the weapons I've collected. Sadly I am missing quite a few cosmetic items, however I ought to have no trouble purchasing them again.

The most amusing happenstance regarding the glitch occurs during story dialogue. Non-player characters still reffer to my character as 'My Queen' or similar variants, both audibly and in text. Because of this, I have made plans to purchase several dresses, dye them absurdly bright colours, and only listen to music by Rupaul whilst traipsing about Albion. As such, I have dubbed this the drag queen glitch.

Several reports indicate that the drag queen glitch occurs after being in multiplayer games where your connection is unexpectedly lost. Others have speculated that it's more likely to occur after you've performed an exploit for additional funds, but I find that highly unlikely, as it would presuppose that Lionhead actually had a twinge of foresight. This definitely isn't the first time one of their games has had a particularly annoying flaw.

I've never actually used aforementioned exploit, but I have been disconnected from my multiplayer party several times. If you would like to attempt to reproduce the drag queen glitch, your best bet is to connect with a friend online, making certain that one of you has an exceedingly dodgy connection. Considering the myriad reports, you are fairly likely to force the glitch eventually. Just make sure you're neither of you are attached to anything in your inventory, because chances are it will disappear.

Many players are impressed by the fact that it's now much easier to keep your character attractive in Fable 3. I have to admit that I was quite annoyed by the fact that my character looked like a steroid pumping rugby player by the end of Fable 2, but I would be more than happy to go right back to that after all the disappointment I've suffered playing Fable 3. It's a small and barely notable concession nestled between slabs of predictable drivel and failure.

In short, if you haven't yet purchased Fable 3, don't bother. If you're sincerely curious, I would suggest renting it. Better yet, just play through Fable 2 again. It's a much more satisfying and immersive experience. So far the most amusing occurance I've encountered (aforementioned drag queen glitch) was a complete accident. I've repressed most of the remaining disappointment, but overall Fable 3 was just plain disapointing.